Too many times
these days, the question ‘so you do not trust me?’ becomes a regular feature of
relationships, business associations, and even platonic friendships. Indeed, it
has become so commonplace that any kind of deviation away from that norm is
viewed with dissent, and is even grounds to begin a fight or a quarrel with
far-reaching potentials. A man with history of philandering suddenly expects
his partner to hand him trust on a platter. A nascent business deal which
brings two people together, one person is making doubly sure that he is not
putting his money in the wrong place or dealing with a dubious person, and
suddenly all blazes are ignited under that veil of ‘distrust’.
Why do people
expect trust to be something to be surrendered to by mere word of mouth and
face value? Why is trust perceived to be free and unquestionable? Why is it
such an important ingredient in a relationship, yet something that is hardly
scrutinized and put to the test?
Truthfully, a
lot of people who have doled out trust undeservedly have always had
finger-burning stories to tell. What is more dramatic about the matter is that
people who scream at the first evidence of trust questioning are the ones who
have a trust Achilles heel.
Be that as it
may, do not be afraid to drill an associate or friend before reposing trust in
the person. Do not get intimidated or overly emotional when that reverse
psychology is used on you, to let down your guard when you should not, or to
someone you should not. In fact, people
who should be handed such privileges are usually not afraid of scrutiny. At any
rate, it does not matter how they take your prying questions and your
peripheral attempts at analyzing their motives and actions. Trust is earned;
let them work for it.
On the other
side of the divide, do not forget that it is a two-way thing, and we attract
like energies. It is a universal law. You should also be a trustworthy person
yourself. In a relationship, of whatever colouration, do all you can to be
transparent in your words and actions. Based on precedences, you may not need
to employ all the methods in the book to ascertain what your friend weighs on
your trust scale, if you cultivate transparency and truthfulness.
You earn trust;
let someone also earn yours.
