Martha approached the front door of their two-bedroomed
apartment with caution. It was just a few minutes past five, and all her
calculations of coming back from the market at a quarter to five had been
smashed to smithereens: her husband’s Audi A8 was realistically standing in the
space beside her Toyota Camry, much to her chagrin. She had deliberately
refused to drive to the market, to create the impression that she had not gone
too far from the estate they lived in, in case he came in before her, though
she didn’t envisage it so. But here she was cock sure that he had returned, a
bit earlier than usual. She rubbed her temple and removed the aviator sunshade
which revealed a darkened part of her left eye. The punch she received last
week had led to this, and she hoped it had cleared a bit. She knew what
happened to her when last something like this happened. Well, she wouldnt die,
she thought. She braced herself the
worst, and stepped into the living room.
Ken was sitted cross-legged, reading a magazine. She thought
she saw a smile light up his face, and he answered her greeting warmly, to her
utmost surprise. Minutes later, he came in to meet her in the kitchen as she
was slicing vegetables. He wrapped his arms round her waist. ‘Did you feed
Caesar today?’
When the next few
seconds didn’t produce the answer he sought, thanks to Martha’s surprise
silence, which admitted guilt, the monster in him arose again. He delivered a
loud thwack of a slap on the back of her ear, without warning, sending her
crashing to the ground immediately. It was the first of many to come, that
evening.
It would seem like the concerted efforts aimed at
ameliorating the plight of women and the girl child in Nigeria and Africa at
large are a far cry from yielding the desired results. As it is, by the minute, unbelievable
statistics of female gender abuse and violence keep gracing the country and
continent defiantly, offering no semblance of hope or light at the end of the
dark trench. Verbal abuse, domestic violence, rape of every shade and hue, as
well as emotional and psychological abuse of this vulnerable gender continues
unabated, making a mess of every stride in checking and combating it. It was
never the expectation of the bodies making
a ministry of ending gender-based violence that in a year as advanced
and as sound as this, the issue of being violent to a vulnerable person would
still remain as hydra-headed and as stubborn as it is today. It was never
envisaged that paedophilia, the new garb which this abuse has taken on
recently, would be an issue to contend with in such a profound manner. It was
never believed that there would still be some men whose chief delight would be
to test their palming and punching skills on their wives of all people. It was
believed that the sensitization and awareness on this subject would have been
one which would produce people who would consider themselves vanguards of this
vulnerable gender, instead of becoming predators, insistently by the day.
Being realistic and
objective is the greatest favour we can do to this all-important subject.
Feeding it with a dose of how things ought to be is a kindness we and everyone
concerned, owe posterity. I, for one, am a proponent of paying my debts, even
to generations unborn. For those who believe in Christianity, one of the
fallouts of Eve’s dalliance with the serpent, which in actual fact was a sexual
bestial relationship which produced Cain, was a punishment from God which
stated that the man would rule over her, because she was the one that got
seduced by the beast. I want to believe that is the origin of the self-effacing
stance of the woman and dominance of the male specie, which, is actually in
order with Gods creative purpose, but overstretched to unrealistic limits. The
fact that a man is a dominant force does not make him less accountable to God
and the law, and is in itself a load of responsibility, one which does not
preclude demeaning and defiling his weaker subordinate. As an offshoot of this
truth, phrases like ‘it’s a man’s world’ have simply no place in the scheme of
the sensible and right way of doing things.
Abuse of women is
as unacceptable as it comes; there cannot and will not be any justification for
it. The placing of a man makes him a defender and not a defiler of a woman. Our
law promulgating and law enforcing agencies ought to have more done in this
regard. Women are being maimed or killed outrightly, destinies are being
hampered and impeded everyday, along with its cumulative short-term
consequences. Legislation regarding this crime ought to be more stringent than
it is today. There ought to be a re-orientation of the mindsets of our people,
to end this scourge.
As we celebrate the International Day of Non-Violence
against women, let all hands be on deck to expel this malaise from amongst us.
Ogbonna Nnaemeka Henry
08052795647
