THE TRUST QUESTION

Too many times these days, the question ‘so you do not trust me?’ becomes a regular feature of relationships, business associations, and even platonic friendships. Indeed, it has become so commonplace that any kind of deviation away from that norm is viewed with dissent, and is even grounds to begin a fight or a quarrel with far-reaching potentials. A man with history of philandering suddenly expects his partner to hand him trust on a platter. A nascent business deal which brings two people together, one person is making doubly sure that he is not putting his money in the wrong place or dealing with a dubious person, and suddenly all blazes are ignited under that veil of ‘distrust’.

   Why do people expect trust to be something to be surrendered to by mere word of mouth and face value? Why is trust perceived to be free and unquestionable? Why is it such an important ingredient in a relationship, yet something that is hardly scrutinized and put to the test?

    Truthfully, a lot of people who have doled out trust undeservedly have always had finger-burning stories to tell. What is more dramatic about the matter is that people who scream at the first evidence of trust questioning are the ones who have a trust Achilles heel.

Be that as it may, do not be afraid to drill an associate or friend before reposing trust in the person. Do not get intimidated or overly emotional when that reverse psychology is used on you, to let down your guard when you should not, or to someone you should not.  In fact, people who should be handed such privileges are usually not afraid of scrutiny. At any rate, it does not matter how they take your prying questions and your peripheral attempts at analyzing their motives and actions. Trust is earned; let them work for it.

     On the other side of the divide, do not forget that it is a two-way thing, and we attract like energies. It is a universal law. You should also be a trustworthy person yourself. In a relationship, of whatever colouration, do all you can to be transparent in your words and actions. Based on precedences, you may not need to employ all the methods in the book to ascertain what your friend weighs on your trust scale, if you cultivate transparency and truthfulness.

You earn trust; let someone also earn yours.