Yes. Its New Year's Day and I have time. Time for
banters and all that comes with it.
I will be unveiling Nigeria’s states and the
personalities associated with them. I will explore the people according to
looks, characters and spirits associated with people from such states, ranging
from their man to their women. So each time you meet someone from a particular
state, you know what to expect.
But then, this is all bants. No state has
completely good or bad people. The spirit of God does not discriminate along
ethnic lines, and so, can touch anyone and disconnect him or her from heritages
and bloodlines associated with his people in the flesh.
Without further ado, here we go:
Abia:
Hmm. God’s own state. The men are great lovers,
nice, sociable, usually tall, with model-like looks(with the exception of the
Ngwa people who are mostly four-footers or slightly above). The Ngwa people are
mostly aggressive, and the stories of cannibalism traced to them in times past
should really make one wary.
Their women are average in looks and character,
go with the flow, and what you put in is what you get in terms of
relationships.
Adamawa
The men here, mostly Christians, are okay, and
can fall in any category-no special attribute to them. Most are five footers
and above, with women who have some measurable inclination to the green bottle
and its contents, same as the men. You are nice to them, they reciprocate. You
give them the opposite, what you see, you get.
Akwa ibom
Akwaaba!
The men..hmm. Very hopeless romantics. Can spend
their entire salary on a woman if it comes to that...they mostly claim to be
beta males but when push comes to shove they are jellies within. Their women
are ravenously beautiful, with well proportioned bodies, but with a slight
gravitation towards promiscuity because of their murderous looks. But when you
get one that is into you, she is in it for the long haul unless you mess up.
The intellectuals among them tend towards feminism and the chauvinistic angles.
Overall, they are nice people.
Anambra
The heart of the Igbo race. Very enterprising
men. Women are trophies to them and they prefer to adorn their women to
showcase their wealth. An average Anambra business mogul can have over 600
million in his account and not have a car. But when you look towards the wife,
your antennae will come up. Their men are usualy heavily built, up to six
footers in some cases with a good muscular body to go with it. Their ladies,
because of the wealth that stinks around these men, are usually loyal and a
proper representation of the title of ‘oriaku’ (spender of wealth). Usually
,fair, pretty damsels dot the Anambra landscape.
Bauchi
This state west of the north of Nigeria boasts
of a fine array of men. The hometown of the Executive secretary of TETFUND,
Proffessor Elias Bogoro. They can be nice when they want to be. Average looks.
Loyal women. But their true character is known when they come into wealth and
status. Do not be deceived with a poor Bauchi man’s show of humility. Some of
them can be quite arrogant.
Bayelsa
This Sani Abacha brainchild boasts of the
darkest set of Nigerians alive. While Ben Murray Bruce seems to negate that
statement, do not forget he is a mullato with western blood in him. Their men
drink to a fault, and so do the women. Because of proximity to water and the influence
of mermaid spirits, sex is carefree and commonplace, and we all know what that
translates to. Of course, the men and women are unbelievable swimmers.
The men are not good looking but can be extreme hunks, with good height and
build to complement. They can have smooth skin owing to abundance of sea food.
Same goes for the women.
Benue
The food basket of the nation. As such, expect
to see healthy looking men and women. There are few exceptions of extraordinary
height like in the case of award winning crooner, Tuface Idibia, else, they are
mostly average in height. Of course, when you are full, there will be plenty of
time and energy for pastimes like sex, disproportionate drinking, gambling, and
womanizing. Some Benue men can be highly irresponsible. Their women are just
there, ready to roll if you are. Can be good home keepers, but expect some
itchy tongue for alcohol too.
Borno
There is an unbalanced mix of Christianity and Islam
in this state in the far north. Expect a huge dose of nepotism around the men,
who would go to any length to favour their own. The Shuwa Arab girls are
usually a sight for sore eyes, with long tapering hair and Arab-like beauty.
But never let that fool you- she can kill you if you offend her-literally stab
you in your sleep if it gets to that. The men can be tall and slender, with
deep hearts too.
Cross River
Everything stated about Akwa ibom men and women
are applicable here. Terribly beautiful ladies and weak-hearted men. Any ugly
Calabar girl you see has no money. Touch her up and watch her take on that
glow. It’s a trade mark.
Delta
This baby of the late Maryam Babangida is a fine
mix of all of the characters you want to see. Most of the characters here are
developed based on personal decision and principle. The men can be either
extremely good looking, or shamefully unsightly. The women are also not that
very good looking, save for some exceptional cases. One thing they have going
for them is their fighting spirit and doggedness-which is arguably the reason
they gave Nigeria a good dose of contribution in terms of sportsmen and women.
Their women can be extremely hardworking, managing stress beautifully. The
legendary midfielder Sunday Oliseh hails from there. Agression and some cultism
holds sway among Delta youths, and their ladies can be very manipulative, with
the slightest of things, and will have their way most of the time. The educated
men among them are high flyers, like Pat Utomi, chairman of Lagos Business
School.
Expect to get tales of brazen wickedness and
incest from Asaba and more of the Igbo speaking parts of Delta, for reasons I
cannot fathom. Probably the water body close by.
Ebonyi
Created in 1996, this state is the lastborn of
the southeast. There is some form of inferiority complex that sorrounds the men
from this state, and they want to exploit every opportunity to assert
themselves. The men are usually voracious eaters and it shows in their
physique-muscles all the way and a good height to go with it. Education and
civilization has given their women a voice too, and i am yet to see a slender
Ebonyi lady. Their ladies are usually traditional and conventional, stickler
for rules of engagement in every occasion. Average looking ladies.
Edo
I love this state. A very good childhood friend
of mine hails from this state and i can speak with some authority here. You do
anyhow, you see anyhow. Average Edo nigga is fearless, bares his mind as it is,
enterprising, can be loving when he loves you, and sacrificial. They go to any
length for people they believe in. They can also be terribly generous. But, you
do not want to hurt an Edo man. If he can, he will get his pound of flesh, but
only as long as the anger lasts. If he cuts you off, that is it. You can beg
but it won’t be the same anymore even if he lets go. They are usually aggressive and emotional when you touch their sore spots
Their women are mamacitas. I am yet to see an
Edo lady you won’t look at twice. But then, their mouth is a leaking tap only
the Holy Ghost can seal. With a tested and trusted PhD in insulting and
insulting technology, you do not want to get in the line of fire of an Edo lady’s
mouth-same as the men. The ladies are fearless, enterprising, risk takers, good
home keepers when they want to be, and hopeless lovers when you treat them
right. Expect some diabolism also, but contrary to public perception, it is
done out of passion and not necessarily wickedness.
Ekiti
The contemporary of Ebonyi state in the
southwest, if you are not an above-par person intellectually, you may find it
hard rolling with people from this state. Their women are unrepentant
sapiosexuals, and so are the men, except the ones that are not so lettered.
Expect some touch of feminist inclinations from their ladies-it comes with
hyper-enlightenment. Usual Yoruba looks- on the heavier side, round faces and
some little paunch to go with it. The men are average looking with a few
exceptions.
Enugu
This state up in the hills has very appealing
sights as it applies to the female gender. Nice, homely, impressionable
sisters, with majority of their ladies above the regular five foot seven mark.
The men are hunks, and hustlers as well. Pride in looking after their families,
while having a good time too. The Nkanu men are stubborn and can be diabolic in
its most evil definitions. Another business hub of Nigeria, with titled men
landscaping the territory.
Gombe
Normal looking people. What you put in is what
you get, for both genders. Pliable people.
Imo
Woow. This baby of Sam Mbakwe is home to the
finest set of handsome, lettered and intellectual gentlemen in the entire
country. An Imo dude is the entire package. Brains, brawn, and style. The
Mbaise people are the craftiest set of humans south of the Niger. The men for
the most part are not your regular six footers, but you can have their facial
constructions for dinner. Incredibly handsome blokes who can separate a world
war. Highly lettered and enterprising, they love schooling and will go to any
length for it.
Their women are the toast of wifehood anywhere
in the world. Heavily faithful and excellent homekeepers, most tribes waste no
time to put a ring on an Imo lady. This would make a case for the tales of
exhorbitant bride prices that waft from that axis, coupled with irresistible
brains (both academic and street) and looks that adorn the average Imo girl.
Genevieve Nnaji, screen goddess, is just a microcosm of what this state has to
offer. But then as you inch towards Owerri, the state capital, you tend to see
hordes of very wayward and worldly-wise women who would give an arm and a leg
for a good time.
Jigawa
Core of the north, everything you know about
northening applies here. Fine slender and tall males, equally gorgeous ladies,
fastened by Islamic tenets. Shamefaced ladies in the open, but tigers and
distance-goers behind closed doors. Loyal men who love their wives. Equally
loyal women on the average.
Kaduna
Kaduna means crocodile. The tenaciousness
of a crocodile with its prey may have rubbed off on these people. The men are
stubborn, egoistic, and mostly militant whether in the physical or intellectual
sense, but love deeply when they do. Their ladies are increasingly becoming
enlightened and taking up important positions in the society-usually
intelligent ladies, yet it does not subtract the militancy from them. Average
Kaduna lady wastes no time in baring her mind to you. There is some touch of
alcoholism among them. There is a fair mix of tall and short men, average
looking ladies with tendency of becoming fat in the future.
Kano
The Jigawa story applies here. The Kano
population is mostly influxed by people from Niger republic who are Moslems, so
there may be some inaccuracy in predicting them. The average Kano man is peace
loving, indulges in his trade and minds his business. Loyal ladies, mostly
Fulanis immigrating into the state.
Katsina
Don't expect a Katsina man to forgive you easily.
Can be aggressive as well. Loyal women. Mostly influxed by Chadians and Nigerians.
Kebbi
Not much is known, but the usual northern
heritage applies here
Kogi
The main tribes here are the Igalas, the Ebiras
and the Okuns, a Yoruba variant in the state. The Igalas are the proudest set
of humans i have ever met, with a bloated sense of ego which is usually
unrealistic. They can be highly diabolical and in a very mean sense of it.
Their women are okay, generally average looking, but they would make you
understand they are doing you a favour rolling with you. Not very lettered in
the real sense of the word, but when an Igala lady likes you, just leave the
home to her. Usually faithful and good home keepers. An average kogi man likes
to be in control, and to be noticed. Some go to extra lengths to garner
attention.
The Ebira men have very short fuses and can
switch from a smile to delivering a backhand slap like the acceleration
of a Ferrari. The same goes for their women. Acute diabolism,
gangsterism, and indolence for the most part. They are hardly lettered. Their
women are staunch and trouble makers wherever they go. But make no mistake-they
can have very good hearts, and can be kind to a fault. Trample on that kindness
and see their other side.
The Okun people are the most untrustworthy set
of homosapiens on the face of the earth in my purview. Never go into a
sensitive agreement with them, or else, you will have yourself to blame. They
are terrible snitches and can give you away at the slightest loophole of
advantage.
On the average, they have a good sprinkle of
handsome men, and eye-soothing women among the not-so-good looking ones.
The Ebira and Igala people bleach their skin a
lot.
Kwara
Saraki’s state. Hmm. Traditional and normal
looking men and women. Adultery is rife in this state. The snitching component
of most westerners can also be expected here. Islam swept a large swathe of the
state, so you can expect the self-righteousness of Islam to hold sway to some
extent here. Some can be highly moral too, when they want to be.
Lagos
This state is a confluence of all kinds of
characters. The men are in the bracket of what the ladies would tag ‘Yoruba
demons’-terrible players and heartbreakers. They may be good looking and
enterprising, but feed on female hearts. The women, all enlightened and
educated for the most part, still find a way to fall for these blokes and yet
come out to cry foul. Their women, once they get hooked on you, will cater to
your every need, but expect to get some slight touch of feminism here and
there. This could be an aberration since most of the parents instilled colonial
values on these ladies, but then you know the kind of acculturation to expect
as long as social media and TV is in the picture.
Nassarawa
The men are traditional and regimental.
Enlightenment plays very little role here. They know where a woman belongs and
put her there. No compromise, no matter whose ox is gored. There is a fair mix
of good looking and otherwise men in this state. The average Nassarawa man has
a very deep heart, and you hardly know what to expect, especially if you offend
him, even when you try to make amends. They can be diabolical too when push
comes to shove.
Their ladies are average. Education among women
is still making nascent inroads here, so the women can afford to remain where
they are placed by their men. They are generally not so good looking with some
few exceptions, and are very loyal to their men in marriage or in
relationships.
Niger
This state that shares boundaries with the
federal capital has average men dotting the landscape. Becauise of the Fulani
population influxing the place you are likely to see tall, slender,
Gwari-speaking blokes. It is also spiced up with some enlightenment made possible
by academic experience, so you can have some cool-headed men here. This
education has also impacted the women, whose accents are like music to your
ears. The women also have fair damsels here and there, but the strong cord of
conservative Islam still holds sway here and binds them well.
Ogun, Ondo, Osun
Education and enlightenment have made the men
here high flyers and achievers in the fields they set their sights on. But
then, they are hard core sycophants and bootlickers, who can do anything and go
anywhere just for advantage. They are also world-class betrayers whom every
person should be wary of either baring his life to or planning something
sensitive with. This attribute also touches on the women, who can sell you
short for a morsel of bread. Some of the men can be quite stingy, and the women
as well. The cassanovaic tendencies are applicable in the men here, while the
women have sparsely distributed mix of average looks and height. Because of the
influence of education, expect the women to be entitled, feminist, independent,
and possibly promiscuous. Even the discipline which holds sway in some of them
is not to a man’s advantage, as they would leverage on that to become stubborn,
manipulative and daring, telling you how much of a trophy they are. But you can
be fortunate to also get some loyal ones who would stick with you and be
respectful regardless. But do not be fooled when she sounds prim and proper in
her online posts and comments; get to know her up, close and personal.
Oyo
The home base of most players in Nigeria. All
that was said about Yoruba men apply here too, but it was separated because
together with all of these tendencies, it is coated in a huge cocoon of
diabolism for both sexes. There is also some level of parochialism that goes with
Oyo people, which can be either put to good traditional use or be a total
deal-breaker. The men are average-looking, but their women are usually thick
with flabby arms, and are hygenically deficient. Most of their women have
the trademark paunch, and the fact that you have not seen it now does not mean
it won’t come out.
But there can be a few exceptions though, where
you can get a nice man and a loyal woman who won’t be promiscuous.
Plateau
This state on the table land boasts of very
good-looking tall men and equally very beautiful ladies,and there is the perk
of being highly intellectual. But whatever you do, never ask a Plateau lady to
stop drinking; you are either breeding a pretender or moulding your worst
enemy. The men are unrepentant booze addicts, and a popular jibe has it that
the plateau youths were in a drunken stupor and before they knew it Fulanis had
taken over their land and balkanized it. Besides that, a plateau girl who loves
you, loves you, and is quite loyal. The men mostly fall prey to baby mama drama
in their hey days, but are excellent fathers.
Rivers
The oil state!
By default, you should not be told what obtains
where there is money, a water body, and very pretty ladies. Of course, sex in
all its definitions and variations-prostitution, orgies, stripteases, pimping
and all what not. Everything that is an enemy of marriage happens
here-unfaithfulness, baby mama drama, fights, single parenthood, co-habiting
partners, and as long as the list goes. In some cases, expect the average
portharcourt lady to make passes at you, especially if you are good looking and
have a deep pocket. The men, some of them good looking, just go with the flow
and enjoy what comes their way heartily. Most households where there are young
ladies have had at least one child outside wedlock.
Because the poverty rate is a little lower than
in other states, you can expect gangsterism, cultism, and attendant crimes.
Average Rivers man is a good social drinker, but easy going and nice, yet in
most cases a heavy womanizer. The youths are indolent hand entitled, but there
are few exceptions who go really far in academics and career. There could be
some who graduate from drinking to get high on some stimulants and drugs. The
women love their men too, are generous sex donators if you fit the bill or if
they are into you regardless, and can be loyal in their marriages. But don't be
too sure, because the moment an ex comes calling, you cannot be completely
vouchful of her.
Zamfara, Sokoto
The baby of the north-west. Nascent and naive.
Innocent islam works here, if you get my drift. Nice, loving men, except the
immigrants from Niger and Chad who spoil their record. Loyal ladies. Pliable
people.
Taraba, Yobe
Taraba has fearless men. Unknown to many this
state contributed most of the men who fought the Biafran war in the 60s. They
love drinking, and the women seemed to have taken cue from that as well. Most
of the qualities that apply to Benue men and women work here.
Yobe has qualities akin to the people from
Borno.
